Here are some of the things indigent criminal defendants tell their court appointed lawyers:
Children and Baby Mamas:
Inmate (I) : You have to get me out of jail so I can support my kids.
Lawyer (L): How many children you have?
I: Five.
L: Whose their mother?
I: For which one? The three year old baby mama is Janie. The middle two's baby mama is Susie. The youngest's is Mary.
L: Are you current on child support?
I (averting gaze): That's why you have to get me out of here.
But this is my first case:
I: It's not fair they want to send me to jail. This is my first case.
L: I'm looking at your criminal history and I see you did five years in California.
I: But that was not a drug case, that was a burglary.
They got no evidence:
I: They ain't got shit on me.
L: What about your wallet in the getaway card and your DNA on the mask one of the gunman wore?
I: That don't prove shit.
I'm not a drug dealer:
I: I'm not a drug dealer.
L: But they found five grams of meth under your car seat, packaged to sell.
I: I know, but I'm just an addict. I sell a little to my friends to pay for my own habit. That don't make me a drug dealer.
Not my pants, not my dope:
I: I ain't pleading guilty to something I didn't do.
L: But they found the meth in your front pocket.
I: Those weren't my jeans. I was staying with a buddy and put his on by accident.
But I only drank three beers:
I: I wasn't drunk. I swear on my mother/grandmother/baby son/daughter I only had three beers.
L: But the lab test showed you had THC, vicodin, and oxycontin in your blood.
I: But my ol' lady researched it on Google and it says they have to prove you had .08 alcohol in your blood stream.
But I didn't molest a kid:
I: It's not fair. It's not like I was molesting little kids or nothing.
L: But they found 500 child porn images and video on your computer.
I: I swear to God I didn't know it was there. Someone hacked it.
But she told me she was 19:
I: I didn't know she was only 15.
L: Doesn't matter. Ignorance is not a defense.
I: But she led me on. She was very mature. This wasn't her first rodeo.
Other things they say:
I've being going to Bible study and reading my Bible (showing lawyer dog eared Bible)
I didn't stab her. I was just fooling around with a knife and she stumbled into it.
My last lawyer sold me down the river.
My court appointed lawyer forced me to plead guilty.
I need a lawyer who believes I'm innocent and will fight for me (from defendant who is on video assaulting store clerk and stealing money and confessed)
Things they tell their lawyers to do:
I want you to tell that judge/DA to dismiss this case.
There's a law firm in San Antonio that can get this charge dismissed. Why can't you?
I want you to tell the judge to transfer my case to another county. The prosecutors and juries here are too mean.
I came to Kerrville from Detroit/California/New York because I heard it's got a good recovery community. That turned out to be a crock of shit!
From Amy Winehouse: I don't want to go to rehab, no no no !!!
Children and Baby Mamas:
Inmate (I) : You have to get me out of jail so I can support my kids.
Lawyer (L): How many children you have?
I: Five.
L: Whose their mother?
I: For which one? The three year old baby mama is Janie. The middle two's baby mama is Susie. The youngest's is Mary.
L: Are you current on child support?
I (averting gaze): That's why you have to get me out of here.
But this is my first case:
I: It's not fair they want to send me to jail. This is my first case.
L: I'm looking at your criminal history and I see you did five years in California.
I: But that was not a drug case, that was a burglary.
They got no evidence:
I: They ain't got shit on me.
L: What about your wallet in the getaway card and your DNA on the mask one of the gunman wore?
I: That don't prove shit.
I'm not a drug dealer:
I: I'm not a drug dealer.
L: But they found five grams of meth under your car seat, packaged to sell.
I: I know, but I'm just an addict. I sell a little to my friends to pay for my own habit. That don't make me a drug dealer.
Not my pants, not my dope:
I: I ain't pleading guilty to something I didn't do.
L: But they found the meth in your front pocket.
I: Those weren't my jeans. I was staying with a buddy and put his on by accident.
But I only drank three beers:
I: I wasn't drunk. I swear on my mother/grandmother/baby son/daughter I only had three beers.
L: But the lab test showed you had THC, vicodin, and oxycontin in your blood.
I: But my ol' lady researched it on Google and it says they have to prove you had .08 alcohol in your blood stream.
But I didn't molest a kid:
I: It's not fair. It's not like I was molesting little kids or nothing.
L: But they found 500 child porn images and video on your computer.
I: I swear to God I didn't know it was there. Someone hacked it.
But she told me she was 19:
I: I didn't know she was only 15.
L: Doesn't matter. Ignorance is not a defense.
I: But she led me on. She was very mature. This wasn't her first rodeo.
Other things they say:
I've being going to Bible study and reading my Bible (showing lawyer dog eared Bible)
I didn't stab her. I was just fooling around with a knife and she stumbled into it.
My last lawyer sold me down the river.
My court appointed lawyer forced me to plead guilty.
I need a lawyer who believes I'm innocent and will fight for me (from defendant who is on video assaulting store clerk and stealing money and confessed)
Things they tell their lawyers to do:
I want you to tell that judge/DA to dismiss this case.
There's a law firm in San Antonio that can get this charge dismissed. Why can't you?
I want you to tell the judge to transfer my case to another county. The prosecutors and juries here are too mean.
I came to Kerrville from Detroit/California/New York because I heard it's got a good recovery community. That turned out to be a crock of shit!
From Amy Winehouse: I don't want to go to rehab, no no no !!!
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